Friday, April 23, 2010

The Experience of Dhyana

Dhyana is not something that is very well explained in eastern texts, or not that I have seen. Crowley's explanation is the most direct and simple. The object meditated upon and the meditator become one. The mind becomes blank and a spiritual experience happens.

Recently I have been experiencing something close to this. I only place significance upon it because the experience continues to repeat itself. I assume asana and regulate the breath to a four count. Then practice Dharana upon the breath, specifically the physical sensation of the lungs filling and deflating.

I perform my meditation and after a time my body disappears. I cannot even feel my hands upon my lap or my own head. I become a balloon that inflates and deflates. At first I thought this might actually be dhyana. This seems to match the experience as it seems I become the lungs and nothing else. Although upon further reflection and outside confirmation I realize it is not. Accompanying this transformation comes a strong feeling of claustrophobia and a degree of fear from loss of self. Overall it is not a pleasant experience. The very fact that I still retain enough awareness to realize I am a balloon along with the rising emotions shows it was not truly dhyana.

Although from this reflection I am reminded of a past experience that I happen to think was actually Dhyana. The event came about from an enochian aethyr working. In the experience I saw the entire galaxy spinning and lighted from billions and billions of burning suns. In the next moment I became the galaxy. I have no idea how long this went on as I did not exist or think other than just being. At some point I thought to myself "I am the universe" and instantly the experience ended and I again entered the duality of I am this and that is that. Although it probably did not last more than a few seconds it had a profound effect upon me. One thing I was left with was the sense that everything is connected and one thing. Even to this day I still feel a degree of guilt whenever I eat store bought meat. Not because the animal had to die to provide it, but the suffering imposed on the animal by factory farming. Part of the experience was knowing life, death, and suffering. That life and death did not matter, but rather the everyday experience of your life while still living.

I am going to stop right here. Reading over what I just wrote and what I was trying to explain makes me realize that the words make little sense logically and are shallow compared to the actual experience. It cannot be described in words and any further attempt would only cheapen the experience. But I am still going to post what I have for others. So far I have not found descriptions or actual first hand accounts of Dhyana in my readings. So I wanted to provide something for others who actually obtain the experience or the semi-experience I have been running into lately in my practice in the hopes it may be of some assistance to someone else.

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